Definitions define things.

This week is already proving to be better than last. To begin with, I have already completed my homework for TWO classes and half of the homework for a THIRD class. I think I can say, with confidence, that my scheme to get ahead is finally starting to come to fruition. I feel that the path I am on will inevitably lead to happier times later this week, and less stress as I approach mid-terms, which are next week. WIN.

I have chosen this post to take a moment and explain the significance of the title of this blog. As many of my linguaphilic friends have considered, I'm sure, 'The Law and I' implies that we can accomplish physical tasks together. Obviously, that is preposterous.

Or is it?

The law is a person that I have recently decided to attach myself to. He/She/It gives me powers that I never knew I could wield. Now, I can turn a pinch into a felony; a fart into a tort; take a person breaking a promise for all they are worth. I am the master of my universe thanks to my new partner in crime (or law).

We are like Sonny and Cher (I, of course, am Cher), Batman and Robin (I am Batman, he has a bigger bulge), Mary-Kate and Ashley (Ashley, she eats slightly more). The world had better get ready for the Law and I because together we will move mountains. We will part seas. We will win petty sums of money for people who are too infantile to settle their own disputes. It will be a glorious relationship, between the Law and I, and the possibilities are endless.

I now include a list of other earth-shaking pairings, which are comparable to the Law and I:

- Moses and Aaron
- Abbot and Costello
- Thelma and Louise
- Abercrombie and Fitch
- Antony and Cleopatra
- Barnes and Noble
- Beauty and the Beast
- Nicole and Paris (See Above)
- Ben and Jerry
- Dharma and Greg
- Jon and Kate
- Jon and his new Trick
- Kate and her hair
- Meryl Streep and Oscar
- Brad and Angelina
- Godzilla and Mothra, may their love never die
- Peanut Butter and Jelly (TIME!)
- Mork and Mindy
- Mario and Luigi
- Goose and Maverick
- Nicholas Cage and all of his movies that I hate. Besides Gone in 60 Seconds in which case the Angelina Jolie factor trumps the Nicholas Cage screws my life factor.

The list obviously goes on and on from here but those are the most appropriate pairings that illustrate my relationship with the law (as well as all the pairings I could come up with in the time I took to write this blog post).

At the end of the day I curl up in the warm embrace of the Law and he rocks me to sleep amidst case briefs and statutes. Even though he sometimes sings me to sleep with songs of First Degree Rape and Felony-Murder, he is proving to be a worthy life partner.