This should be open, 'cause it's civil rights. This is the nineties.

I have had a couple really interesting run-ins with people over the past month. These encounters have forced me to clearly define my professional relationships and my personal relationships, often with the same people. Therein lies the challenge, I suppose. How do you maintain a personal relationship with somebody that is so incompatible with you professionally that you would like them to 'disappear' one night after some gorilla named "Vinnie" came a calling? The answer is, as many answers are, simple.

In the words of one of my favorite movies: "Just say 'fuck it,' and bail." (Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

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Well, that would be awesome if it worked, wouldn't it? Life would be so much simpler if we could just axe the people that aren't bringing their professional A game to the table and work with the people of our choosing. Unfortunately, that isn't how it works, and to hold on to that fantasy for too long is to damn yourself to a life of disappointment and frustration. So you're really faced with two options, quit your job and start fresh with a new group of people, hedging your bets on a better spread of personalities, OR, in the real world where I live and I presume most of you do as well, you can try to improve the relationship that needs it through the use of both, making you happier and the other person better in their professional capacity.

I've found that the stronger the personal relationship is, the easier it is to sway the professional one. My candor with close friends is much different than it is with purely professional associates. There are thousands, probably tens of thousands, of books written about how to deliver constructive criticism in the workplace and to co-workers, generally. I'm sure they offer various perspectives and outlooks as well as unique approaches and other crap that I don't need or care about. My dad used to tell me about this sort of thing all the time. In fact, it is part of the reason that almost every person with whom he worked showed up at his viewing and/or funeral.

Do you want to effectuate change in the people around you? Excellent! Then develop a stronger personal relationship with them. Discover their interests. Share your interests with them. Take actual care in their activities and well-being. Now, I'm not saying you need to put them on high alert that you might want to wear their skin to your birthday; let's not get creepy here. But you can certainly do a little extra leg work to form a foundation upon which you can build relationships that allow you to mold your compatriots to your will. This will return you to god-like status in your office or board room, and isn't that what we all secretly want anyway? I know I sure do. If I'm not deified once a week, or so, I have to bury my sorrows in a tub of Ben and Jerry's so deep, the Weekiwachee Mermaids would drown trying to dive to the bottom. (Sorry, I've been trying to find a way to throw down a reference to those broads for like ever. They're pretty sweet, though.)

Anyway, all jokes and fish-girls aside, my natural inclination to befriend everybody has recently afforded me the opportunity to create harmony in my work-relationships and to smooth things over between warring factions in my professional life. It never ceases to amaze me when simple, human-to-human interaction outdoes years of research and scholarship. Granted, I might be the exception to the rule, but don't tell me if I am.

My ego doesn't need anybody else telling me that I'm special. I know I am a pinnacle of uniqueness amongst men.*


*This is sarcasm, just for the record.

"I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you"

First, I must say, that I am blogging robot. I have blogged a lot in the past week, I tell you.

Anywhichway, today I bowled for the second time this week. I subbed on a team with a group of new friends that I made. A few of the team members were acquaintances of mine prior to tonight, but before my bowling experience, I would not have considered any of these people as 'friends.' Unsurprisingly, though, all it took was a pitcher of beer, some serious laughs, and TONS of inappropriate humor and I now find myself with a bunch of new BFFs. It is here that I shall branch into the meat of this blog post: my ability to make immediate friends.

For most of my young life, I challenged myself to never be introverted, to thrust myself into social situations headfirst, and through my tooth and nail approach to relationships, I have made lots of friends in my day. Now, as an adult (in the eyes of the law, at least), this skill rarely lets me down, and has given me a seemingly infinite network of people to rely on and places to travel. My life is full of love and friendship and I feel blessed every day for the people I know and the relationships that I have. It is nights like tonight that remind me how many blessings I can find in my surroundings.

Now, by this point, if I were reading this blog post, I would presume that there is a giant "BUT" coming. And usually your intuition would be correct, but tonight, I am going to go for broke and just leave you on a positive note, reader. No matter the adversity, no matter the shit storm flying your way, blessings are not so hard to find, if you look in the right places.

(don't worry, I'll get dark again by my next post, I'm sure)







Bitches. (There. Happy? Good. Me too.)