Testing, testing, 1…2…

Today I got a new laptop from Dell. My previous laptop lasted beyond 6 years, having only had to be seriously overhauled 1 time. I consider this to be a great victory on my part. I am now exploring the wide world of a Windows-integrated blogging system. Windows Live Writer and I are going to give this blog a try this evening.

It has been a while since my last blog post so I shall do a recap for those who care.

Firstly, and probably most importantly, I have acquired my Halloween costume. I originally intended to do a Geisha costume this year, drawing upon my extensive knowledge of makeup and drag, however, the means of acquiring an outfit to go with the amount of ‘face’ I was going to be giving became too daunting of a task to really tackle. I then considered various other drag-related costume ideas, however, all of them required a partner in crime (of which I have none, as my only accepted partner in drag-crime is Dean, who remains unacceptably far away from me) or some other unattainable feat, like new heels, or extravagant wigs. Simultaneous to my sad realization that I would not get to dress as a woman this year, I realized that there were certain sundry items that I longed for from American Apparel. (SIDE NOTE: One of my favorite recording artists put it best via twitter: “Here’s a vagina. Buy a shirt. American Apparel.” Bess Rogers, WIN.) As it turns out, these items combine without much effort into a killer costume harkening to old school Globe Trotters channeling a little 70’s-track-coach awesomeness. As such, I killed two birds with one stone by purchasing short shorts, a mesh tank top, tube socks, and matching sweat bands from American Apparel yesterday. My weekend of Halloween partying will be fantastic because of the fantastic company with whom I will spending it AND my awesome costume.

A second development that has occurred, or rather, is occurring is the exeunt of my dear friend Sharon from Michigan to pursue her dreams in New York. I know that she peruses this blog, so I will avoid showering her with too much deserved praise, because she already knows that I believe in her talent, drive, and ability to be great. She will succeed in NYC and I am positive of it. Instead, I will give a short background of our relationship. Sharon and I both attended Hillsdale College. Strangely, we went through our respective careers there being entirely unaware of the grandiose awesomeness of the other party. How this occurred, I do not know. In all reality, the world might never know. Regardless, we did not become friends until after both graduating from school and ending up in the Metro Detroit. It was twitter that finally brought us together, and through a series of concert experiences (including, but not limited to, Lady Gaga), we became close quickly. What I find very blessed about our relationship is that despite the limited exposure to one another, I know that I have made a life-long friend. Whether we both end up in NYC or not, I know that I will always be able to text her or G-chat her up about how awesome we both are, and find an understanding person and compatriot. For this I will always be thankful, and if you read this Sharon, know that I love you and you will be missed. A lot.

I got a new laptop. I know that I already  mentioned this point, however, I return to it to include this insight. I now have a webcam and a Skype account. If you care to talk to me face to face, you can. Get excited.
Oh, and midterms happened. They went well. Furthermore, I took my first final exam. It also went well. My concerns for the rest of my finals have been abated and I feel suddenly confident about the whole experience. Apparently, I can do law school. As if anybody doubted me…

Definitions define things.

This week is already proving to be better than last. To begin with, I have already completed my homework for TWO classes and half of the homework for a THIRD class. I think I can say, with confidence, that my scheme to get ahead is finally starting to come to fruition. I feel that the path I am on will inevitably lead to happier times later this week, and less stress as I approach mid-terms, which are next week. WIN.

I have chosen this post to take a moment and explain the significance of the title of this blog. As many of my linguaphilic friends have considered, I'm sure, 'The Law and I' implies that we can accomplish physical tasks together. Obviously, that is preposterous.

Or is it?

The law is a person that I have recently decided to attach myself to. He/She/It gives me powers that I never knew I could wield. Now, I can turn a pinch into a felony; a fart into a tort; take a person breaking a promise for all they are worth. I am the master of my universe thanks to my new partner in crime (or law).

We are like Sonny and Cher (I, of course, am Cher), Batman and Robin (I am Batman, he has a bigger bulge), Mary-Kate and Ashley (Ashley, she eats slightly more). The world had better get ready for the Law and I because together we will move mountains. We will part seas. We will win petty sums of money for people who are too infantile to settle their own disputes. It will be a glorious relationship, between the Law and I, and the possibilities are endless.

I now include a list of other earth-shaking pairings, which are comparable to the Law and I:

- Moses and Aaron
- Abbot and Costello
- Thelma and Louise
- Abercrombie and Fitch
- Antony and Cleopatra
- Barnes and Noble
- Beauty and the Beast
- Nicole and Paris (See Above)
- Ben and Jerry
- Dharma and Greg
- Jon and Kate
- Jon and his new Trick
- Kate and her hair
- Meryl Streep and Oscar
- Brad and Angelina
- Godzilla and Mothra, may their love never die
- Peanut Butter and Jelly (TIME!)
- Mork and Mindy
- Mario and Luigi
- Goose and Maverick
- Nicholas Cage and all of his movies that I hate. Besides Gone in 60 Seconds in which case the Angelina Jolie factor trumps the Nicholas Cage screws my life factor.

The list obviously goes on and on from here but those are the most appropriate pairings that illustrate my relationship with the law (as well as all the pairings I could come up with in the time I took to write this blog post).

At the end of the day I curl up in the warm embrace of the Law and he rocks me to sleep amidst case briefs and statutes. Even though he sometimes sings me to sleep with songs of First Degree Rape and Felony-Murder, he is proving to be a worthy life partner.